The Boyfriend of the Week

Well, I'm back. Still bitter, mind you. But back. And it's all because of the fact I saw U.S.Marshalls last night and Tommy Lee Jones takes his shirt off.

So, I'll get to that in a second, but first, some bad news. I found out yesterday that Fraser is MARRIED. Yes, folks, and it gets even worse. He's been married for 15 years and he's got two kids and a dog! And he chain-smokes, too, though I don't necessarily hold that against him. I'm sure he would never smoke inside the Canadian Consulate, for example. And he probably throws his butts away instead of just dropping them on the street, too. But, it does mean I may have to reconfigure his MF score. If he's going to die a long, slow, painful lung-related death, I'm not sure I want to date him after all.

But that's something I'll have to think about more first.

Anyway, Tommy Lee Jones. Oh, wow, where to begin? So, I saw U.S.Marshalls last night. It's no The Fugitive but it was pretty darn close. And we get to see more of Tommy Lee Jones, which is key since Wesley Snipes is no Harrison Ford. Anyway, I've always thought Tommy was attractive. In a mean, creased, crinkly-eyed kind of way. But it wasn't until last night that I really fell for him. Not because he's such a talented actor. Not because he's so handsome and smart. Last night I fell for Tommy Lee Jones for one reason: his biceps.

So, you've seen the trailer for the film. Well, it's not a "film," I guess, it's just a movie. But you've seen the trailer. There's a plane crash, right? I'm not giving anything away, am I? Anyway, Tommy ends up getting really wet and having to change his shirt later. And the shirt he changes into is a tee-shirt that's maybe a little too small for him. But we get GREAT close-up coverage of his incredibly sexy arms in that tight tee-shirt. See, those are the kinds of scenes we need more of in American film, I think. Really. I took one look at the definition in his biceps and that was essentially it for me. I don't even remember much of what happened after that.

Well, okay, that probably had more to do with the screaming 4 year-old running lose in the theater. But still, you know what I mean. I'm a sucker for that curve in a man's arm where the bicep muscle swoops down into the inner elbow, and Tommy Lee Jones has the best swoop I've ever seen on a man. I may have to pay the seven bucks again just to see it on the big screen one more time.

But, it's not ALL lust. I swear. We all know Tommy Lee Jones is cool. We've all seen The Fugitive and Men in Black, right? So, I don't really need to get into it. He's cool. And he's talented (Blue Sky, Heaven and Earth); he doesn't just play cops and alien-chasers. You can't not love a man like Tommy. Especially if your tastes are as simple as mine. My tastes are pretty simple, you know. All I need is brains and brawn.

And biceps.

Tommy Lee's MacGyver Factor Score: 96.5%. I'm taking points off because, well, I'm not sure why. He's a little older than I, and he's probably married, and, and, and, okay, here's why: I've been burned. I've been burned and I'm trying not to fall so hard for the boyfriends anymore. I used to throw caution to the wind, but I think I'd better lash it to a tree for awhile now. Just until I get my bearings again.


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