July 31, 2000
I had originally planned to run an entirely different person this week
(after putting him off last week, too), but once again, that
future Boyfriend's "It" position was usurped at the last minute by
another. And the weird thing is, the Boy Usurper is
someone I'd bet a good 95% of you have never even heard of (whereas the
Boy Usurped is someone you would've not only recognized immediately, but
have written me lengthy emails of praise about as well).
Sometimes I just have to go with my heart, though, and not with popular
opinion. Not that I actually ever go with popular opinion (I'm
still hearing about Tommy Lee Jones from people). But this week's
Boyfriend, whose name, by the way, is Steve Ross, is going to
enlighten you in more ways than one. And enlightenment is a good
thing. In fact, it's what you all come here for anyway, right?
First, let me tell you who he is. Steve Ross is a yoga instructor.
Actually, in a way, he's MY yoga instructor. Now, Steve has been teaching
yoga for about seventeen years, but I'd never heard of him or seen him or
anything'd him until about 10 days ago when I happened to be flipping
around channels on tv in the early morning and I stumbled across a yoga
show on the new Oxygen channel. Wow! I said. A yoga show -- hot
damn!
You see, I started doing yoga seriously (meaning, longer than five minutes
a day, more often than twice a week) about nine months ago when I read an
article that said people with carpal tunnel syndrome who did yoga
experienced a lessening of pain in equivalence to those who wore braces at
night. Since I loathe my braces, I thought I ought to give it a shot.
(In case you're lost because you haven't been my fan for very long, I have
pretty bad CTS in both wrists/hands and had surgery a couple of years ago
that failed miserably). What I used to learn yoga initially were the tapes
from Yoga Journal (especially the "Strength" and "Flexibility" ones).
They are challenging and mellow and, essentially, really great. But also
kind of boring. While I like the idea of being really quiet while I hold
a pose (or attempt to!), I also kind of wished the instructors were more
excited to be there. Know what I mean?
So, I was already in the market for a change of scenery when I stumbled
across the show on Oxygen (which is called "Inhale," by the way). I
watched it for about ten minutes and knew after only that long that it was
the program for me. Why? Cuz:
By the way, yes I am using "we" to describe the class despite the fact
they are actually there with him and I am a zillion miles away and
watching it on television. But you guys already knew that I converse
freely with people on television all the time, right (well, "converse"
might be the wrong word)? I even talk to Steve during the class. He
says, "Now, lift up onto your fingertips and swing your legs through your
arms to come to a sitting position," and I say right back to him, "Hah!
Just trrrrrry and make me, Steve!" I'll even go so far as to say that, in
some ways, talking to people on television is a lot more satisfying than
talking to real people. But that's a discussion for another time.
Anyway, Steve and I obviously share the same view on yoga -- yes, it's
great for your mind. It's soothing (even when your muscles are burning)
and it encourages your mind to let go of the world and just hang loose.
But, and this is the key, it's also really, really fun! Steve's big into
encouraging students to modify poses that are killing them so that they
aren't as difficult. Challenge yourself, but don't hurt yourself, he says.
It's supposed to be enjoyable, not torturous. I especially appreciate
this philosophy towards the end of the hour when my arms start shaking
from fatigue and the thought of doing one more lunge makes my thighs want
to leap off my body and run away screaming. (Do not yell "Wuss!" until
you've done an hour yourself, pal.)
I also love it when I'm trying a new pose and having a really hard time
with it (so I'm concentrating extremely hard) and then right as I get my
balance, Steve says something that makes me laugh so hard I fall
over (it doesn't take much, actually). It happens to his students on the
show, too, and he loves it. They all love it. Plus, when he does the
poses as well (sometimes he does and sometimes he gets up and walks around
looking at the class instead), he's just amazing to watch. Amazing and
inspirational. I honestly had no idea that body part could bend in that
direction.
Oh, and did I mention he's really really cute? The pictures above don't
really do him justice (in fact, that pastel one is just plain goofy).
You should try to catch a glimpse of the show sometime just so you can see
that grin in action. Plus, his voice -- I just LOVE listening to him
talk. At the end of the show, during the "Big Relax" as Steve calls it,
he often talks through the whole thing -- telling stories about his
experiences with yogis in India or educating the class on something (like
using mantras, for example). While I think under different circumstances
I would find it hard to really relax when someone was talking, I can
totally zone out to Steve's voice (while processing what he's saying at
the same time).
Man, wouldn't it be great to be Steve's girlfriend? That voice could be
the first thing you hear every morning when you wake up! Actually, since
the show is on at 6am, it pretty much IS the first thing I
hear every morning when I wake up. But you know what I mean.
Now let me tell you what doing yoga regularly has done for me. I can sum
it up in one sentence, actually: Dude, I am SO BUFF. Yoga is not only
great for your mind, but it's KILLER for your body. I'm twice as strong
as when I started, and my balance is just awe-inspiring (to me, anyway).
At the beginning, I could hardly hold any position for more than a few
seconds, now I can stand on one leg for hours if I have to. My legs are
incredibly strong and I've gone from only being able to do push-ups with
my knees bent to being able to do them with my legs straight. That's a
big deal! No, really, it is!
Plus, yoga makes you think about your body in an entirely different way.
Instead of focusing on losing weight or adding those extra ten laps to
your routine, you start thinking about that really cool position Steve can
do that you can't. And then you can't wait to get home so you can start
working on it. The first time I got my head off the floor when I was
practicing backbends (which was, I'm happy to say, exactly six days
ago), I almost started crying. Granted, I can't keep my head off the
floor for more than about ten seconds, but who knew a girl with a bad
lower back and two bad wrists would EVER be able to get into that
position?
Oh, I know who knew -- Steve did! It's so nice having a Boyfriend who
believes in you.
The only bad Steve-related news I got I got today when I was researching
him on the web. You see, I had this secret desire to be the only serious
Steve Ross devotee on the planet. But it turns out he's this famous Los
Angeles yogi that everybody knows about. He was even described in Vanity
Fair as "the guru of L.A."! I will reveal to you all this very
embarrassing truth: that totally bummed me out. He's not all mine! I
wanted him to be all mine!
But, when I get home tonight and pop in the tape (I tape the episodes in
the morning and do them in the evenings), Steve and I will be reunited for
an hour. It'll just be me, him, and a room full of some pretty hip
people. Steve will make me laugh and sweat and push myself. And at
the end when we're doing the Big Relax, I will not only be tired, I'll be
a little bit stronger, a little bit calmer, and a lot of
bit happier. And that's why Steve Ross is my Boyfriend this week.
Steve's yoga instruction method goes like this: play cool music in the
background and crack jokes the whole time. Tell your students they're
doing great and then make fun of them (but gently and in good spirit) when
they start to goof off. For example: "We obviously don't share the same
definition of the word 'slow,'" he'll say, when the class is doing it's
umpteenth lowering from the plank pose (like the down part of a push-up)
and just doesn't have the strength left for going really slowly. Or, "I'm
seeing lots of interesting variations on this. Yes, that variation is
VERY interesting," when he's attempting to get the class to do something
that, I swear, is just ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE and so we're all trying but
totally goofing it up. 
MacGyver Factor
Score: 99.1%. Pretty high score for a guy I only met a week or so
ago, huh? But I'm telling you people -- there is something really special
about Steve Ross. And yoga. Now, a warning is in order: if you're a
complete beginner, I wouldn't recommend his show to you. But if you sorta
know what you're doing and you can hold that downward-facing dog (ruff!)
long and often, you should check his show out. Otherwise, just tune in
for the last ten minutes and mello out with us instead. You won't
be sorry. I promise!
Inhale's Oxygen
Web Site.
Steve's Web Page.
The Yoga Journal Site.
Thrive's
Yoga Page.