The Boyfriend of the Week

 

November 30, 1999

This week's Boyfriend is an extremely silly person. Which is always a good reason to have a crush on somebody. His silliest (and therefore most crush-inducing) role? Definitely Officer Dewey from the "Scream" movies (so silly there are even entire web sites just about that one character). In fact, "Scream" is where I first encountered David Arquette, and the first time I saw it, I didn't actually notice him at all. The second time I saw it, though, I spent less time giggling and then freaking out, and more time realizing he was pretty dang adorable.

I just checked out David's page at the IMDB and I'll be damned -- aside from the Scream movies (anxiously waiting for the third, of course), the only other things I've seen that he's been in are "Never Been Kissed" (and I completely forgot he was in that until just now) and "Wild Bill" (and I completely forgot that whole movie about 30 seconds after I walked out of the theater -- thank god). Go figure. Of course, David's also been in all those 1-800-ATT commercials lately, but I just try not to notice him when they come on.

So what is it about David Arquette that I find so attractive? I mean, in the things I actually remember him from, he's played totally goofy losers. Hey, and there's your clue. Because as you all know, I live for underdogs and "goofy loser" is pretty much the underdog's defining phrase. However, and you may NOT be aware of this yet, I also love guys who are "Aw, schucks" kind of people, and David definitely strikes me as fitting into that category.

In his off-screen life, I find Davie to be less silly and much more interesting. His off-screen personality is a total mystery to me. First of all, he dated Ellen Barkin and then he married Courtney Cox. If I didn't know that already and you told me, I wouldn't believe you. There's just something SO WEIRD about that. He's a goof, right? At least, that's the only side of him I've ever seen. But even though both of those women are connected with comedy, they definitely aren't goofy types. They almost seem too serious for him, which leads me to wonder what David must be like on the outside, you know? I mean, I can't picture him acting like an honest-to-god grown-up, and yet he must. That's what I mean by "interesting." Ya with me on this one?

Oh wait, here's something even MORE interesting. As you probably know, David and Courtney Cox meant on the set of the first Scream movie. They connected instantly, but because David was A DRUG ADDICT, they didn't get together. Then his mom died and he decided to get cleaned up. When they met again during Scream 2, he tried to brush Courtney off again (still thinking he needed to get his life together first) but this time she wouldn't let go (hey, can you blame her?). He quit using drugs, they started dating, and bang-zoom, they were married. David Arquette. Drug addict. Hard to picture.

Anyway, I'm not sure what else I can say about him. Of course, we all know he's part of a very famous Hollywood family (and he's even got Nicolas Cage for a brother-in-law, which must be nice). And we all know he's married to one of the stars of the television show Friends (a show I will not admit to watching, even though I do). And that's probably about all we NEED to all-know. So let's leave it at that. No, wait, let's leave it at this instead: if you haven't seen "Scream," you're missing out on one of the funniest satires of the decade and that's just plain ol' unacceptable. Yes, it's got some gore, but if you can get past the first scene (starring girl-crushee Drew Barrymore), you're home free. Rent it! Don't make me tell you a second time! And watch for my favorite Officer Dewey line: "I'm 25. But I was 24 for a whooooole year."

Damn that cutie.

MacGyver Factor Score: 95.2%. Points off for marrying a star of Friends, that show I would never never never watch because it's so uncool.


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