November 1, 1999
Boy oh boy, do YOU guys not cut anyone slack for taking a break. I just wanted one week off to regroup! To keep the page from getting stale! And it's not like I left you with NOTHING to laugh at, people. That Leonardo DiCaprio thing was darn funny!
Okay, but anyway, I'm back now. Would everybody please just relax now? And this week's Boyfriend is exactly what I promised he would be -- just a cute guy with great hair. Nothing heavy this week, just a light little romp in the hay. And with a local, no less. Yep, Brendan Fraser lives around here somewhere, so I probably better watch what I say. You never know when your Boyfriend might see you've written something about him that DIDN'T include the descriptive phrase "super-genius." Believe you me, it's always ugly when they do.
The reason I'm featuring Brendan is because about two weeks ago, I rented "The Mummy." It wasn't even a moment of weakness that made me do it, either. I did it because, and this is no secret, it's EXACTLY the kind of movie I love watching. So, before you start emailing me to make fun of my poor taste, let me tell you right now that it will do you no good. I feel no shame.
It was great, by the way. Everything it promised -- adventure, action, sand, and predictable romantic tension. How can you go wrong? Plus, I love archaeological stuff (very Indiana Jones) AND I love it when the hero has messy hair and a nice grin. Which is exactly what Brendan Fraser, Hero, has. Sure, he's no Indiana Jones, though he really tries hard to convince us that he is (he's even a daring archaeologist in the film, but isn't, of course, nearly as smart (brains and looks) as Harrison Ford). But that's not the point. I think I liked it because I didn't have the option of a new Indy movie, and this was just close enough to make me happy.
I guess that's no rave review (it was close enough to the real thing to make it sort of okay). But if you like Indiana Jones movies, you'll like "The Mummy." And, if you like Brendan Fraser (and how can you not?), you'll LOVE "The Mummy." Torn clothes! Scruffy stubble! Kissing!
I haven't seen any other of Brendan's movies, except for a few that really ought not to count ("Encino Man," e.g.) (it was on tv -- it's not my fault). However, he was also in the film "Gods and Monsters," which is supposed to be really good (and which I have on hold at the local library but may have to rent since I'm about 40th in line). I'm really intrigued -- I had always brushed Brendan off as a goof and yet here he is, all grown up and sorta serious-looking! Plus, I just love his voice now that he's older. It makes me think of Phineas Bogg (if you understand this reference, email me so I can shake your hand). I miss Phineas Bogg.
So, rent "The Mummy" already! It's got cool special effects and stars a really swanky, swarthy hero. It's no "Raiders of the Lost Ark," but it's not "George of the Jungle," either.
MacGyver Factor Score: 93%. I originally took a bunch of points off (I did mention "George of the Jungle," didn't I?). But I had to put most of them back because of Brendan's next movie, "Dudley Do-Right." It's going to be a stinker, but he's playing a Mountie! Anybody wearing The Uniform gets lots of respect and, uh, affection from me. He's no Constable Fraser, but maybe he'll be close enough to the real thing to make it sorta okay. Oh dang! There I go again!
Addendum (2/18/00): I saw "Gods and Monsters" about two weeks ago and it is TERRIFIC. If you haven't seen it, hurry up and rent it already!